The Greatest Test of All

As a mother of 27 years, I've found that I can only do so much to protect my girls. They have had their share of bumps, scrapes, bruises, and broken bones.  It's always hard to see one walk through the door with tears streaming down their cheeks, holding onto a boo-boo.  

Until last August, I always had my mom to help me through it.  While I sat there crying just as hard as my daughter was, my mother would tell me what to do to make it better. When Veronica busted her chin open and required over 400 stitches, my mother was right beside me.  When Courtney broke her toe during a scuffle and had to have a cast all the way up to her knee, my mother talked me through the rough parts.  When Veronica broke her arm while roller blading, my mother gave me the courage I needed to be a good mommy.  Through all of the fevers, sick tummies, scrapes and bruises, I had my mother to run to for advice.

Now that my mother has left me to be with my dad, it's time for the tests.  Was I really paying attention during the lessons?  Did I take the proper notes?   What if I fail?  

The tests are gradually piling up.  From finding that I'm going to be grandmother for the first time to cleaning the blood and dirt from my baby's face after she's slid across the concrete.  Each time a test is handed to me, I'm reminded of all the things my mother told me about motherhood...the laughs, the smiles, the stress, the tears.  

There are many days when I feel that I've failed my mother.  I feel that all the time & effort she put into making me a 'good mommy' has gone down the drain when I see one of my girls in pain.  Then I remember all the times that she held me close, cradling me, while I cried because of a scraped knee or a broken heart and I know that the most important lesson I've learned is to just be there for my girls.  I can't always be there to catch them when they fall or protect them from harsh words but I can be there when they need a healing hand or a shoulder to cry on.

Each day I'm reminded of the greatest test of all...will I be as good a teacher to my daughters as my mother was to me?